{"id":76,"date":"2026-04-15T13:27:26","date_gmt":"2026-04-15T13:27:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.gotschmucked.com\/?p=76"},"modified":"2026-04-15T13:27:26","modified_gmt":"2026-04-15T13:27:26","slug":"walter-the-emu-is-a-serial-escapee-and-his-owners-son-is-the-cop","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.gotschmucked.com\/?p=76","title":{"rendered":"Walter the Emu Is a Serial Escapee (And His Owner’s Son Is the Cop)"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Let’s be honest: we all have that one family member who just cannot<\/em> stay out of trouble. The one your parents have to call you about. The one who, despite repeated interventions, consequences, and strongly-worded conversations, simply does not learn. For the Giammarco family of Marstons Mills, Massachusetts, that family member is Walter. Walter is an emu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When Barnstable police got a call about a large, prehistoric-looking bird sprinting loose through the neighborhood \u2014 again \u2014 they did what any professional law enforcement agency would do: they called Officer Nicholas Giammarco of the Yarmouth PD. Not because he’s the region’s foremost emu expert (though he may be by now). Because Walter belongs to his dad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Picture that phone call. You’re an officer. You’re on duty. A colleague rings and asks, with presumably a straight face, “Hey, do you know anything about a loose emu?” And you sigh the deep, ancient sigh of a man who has had this exact conversation before, and you say, “Yeah. That’s Walter. I’ll call my dad.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Walter, to his credit, is not causing harm. He’s not robbing anyone. He’s not filing fraudulent tax returns. He is simply a very large, flightless bird with a pathological need for freedom<\/em> \u2014 and an apparent inability to understand that freedom has a fence around it for a reason. He escapes. He gets caught. He goes home. And then, like a fuzzy, prehistoric coil of pure chaos, he waits.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Authorities described Walter as a “repeat offender,” which is both deeply funny and a little bit impressive. Walter has a rap sheet. Walter has pattern behavior<\/em>. Walter may, in fact, be the most consistent creature in all of Barnstable County.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the end, Walter was safely returned home \u2014 presumably walked back across a field by a cop whose childhood included this exact scenario playing out in miniature. Some family businesses are bakeries. Some are plumbing. The Giammarcos, apparently, are in the emu retrieval business.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don’t know what Walter is running toward. Maybe it’s freedom. Maybe it’s purpose. Maybe he just really likes the feeling of asphalt under his feet. But whatever it is, we salute the bird. And we salute Officer Giammarco, who picked up that phone, didn’t even flinch, and went to go get his dad’s emu. Again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Read the Original:<\/strong> ‘Subject’s in custody’: Runaway emu captured in Barnstable\u2026 again<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Walter the emu keeps escaping from his Massachusetts farm. The local cop who catches him? His owner’s own son. Some families are just built different.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":77,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-76","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.gotschmucked.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/Gemini_Generated_Image_q14zmwq14zmwq14z.png","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.gotschmucked.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/76","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.gotschmucked.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.gotschmucked.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.gotschmucked.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.gotschmucked.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=76"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.gotschmucked.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/76\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":78,"href":"https:\/\/www.gotschmucked.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/76\/revisions\/78"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.gotschmucked.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/77"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.gotschmucked.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=76"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.gotschmucked.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=76"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.gotschmucked.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=76"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}